I FEEL DESPERATE...

hahaha i have been in this strange mood lately, well not "strange" but its been a wedding mood for me. i have been looking at dresses, rings, bouquets.. haha fuck i feel so desperate.

i think its the baby. the idea of marriage keeps crossing my mind. people keep asking if my boyfriend and i will be getting married because of the baby, and honestly we arent. lol im not going to marry someone solely because im having a child with them. i want that "ideal" family and i want marriage but not because im having a baby with someone! i hate that everyone assumes we are going to get married because of our baby. lol, fucken losers. we will get married some time in the future. when we both are financially ready for it. lol honestly we were in vegas last christmas and were breaths away from just eloping. haha im semi-glad it didnt happen, not really how i imagined getting married ya know!

we are definitely in love and committed, but theres really no need to rush into marriage. i want a big, fat ass spectacular wedding... i would love to be Mrs. Rodriguez right now now, but im mrs. rodriguez with or without a marriage certificate. so it really dont make a difference to me :)

well this mood isnt very strange to me, i often go through this, i've been obsessed with getting married since i was like 13 years old. haha its all planned out in my head! crazy, yes and i love it :) but i totally thought this would be fun for everyone, cause i knooooooow yall are just as crazy as me!

if i were to get married tomorrow this is exactly how it would be. this is so outta my budget right now, hahaha but a girl can dream cant she.. donnnnt hate! lol

the ring would be from Tacori the 2620 to be exact. this is the ring i want, like i really really want. we are actually going to go look at the setting tomorrow :D! but its rather expensive, so you wont see it on my finger any time soon *sad face*
the dress by Pnina Tornai, 2008 collection (minus the ugly arm thingies)



the bouquet cause i love white lilys


the shoes *drools*


the hair, simple updo


the face would be a combination of these looks, just a simple neutral smokey eye (very neutral!).. and beautiful skin!!!!!



the reception

i could go on for days. i really want to create a scrapbook of my "dream wedding" but i feel like thats taking my crazy to another level. haha i totally wish i could have an unlimited wedding budget, wouldnt everyone love that?! ahhh the things i would do *mind wanders off*. hahaha my boyfriend is sitting next to me and he seems a bit disturbed.

good night for now ladies, i shall continue dreaming about my future wedding :)

I HATE TMOBILE! (rant)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Tmobile is driving me insane. i love my sidekick, i really really do, but i am at the point where i wanna just cancel my account and go back to AT&T.

heres my issue with them:

1. my 2008 sidekick has FORVER had bad reception. my boyfriend bought us the 2008 sidekicks last october and his worked perfectly, but mine would lose reception constantly.. like even when we were right next to each other! its ridiculous.

2. the sidekick data base is GONE! yes, that means all of my contacts, notes, everything in my phone basically is gone, gone, gone. they sent out alerts letting everyone know you shouldn't turn your phone off or else you'll lose all the data you have saved in your phone cause their data base crashed.. well, all my shit is gone. sucks for me :(

3. my boyfriend upgraded to the new sidekick lx 2009 in May of this year and its Ocotober and we are already on our 2nd warranty exchange. isnt that lovely?

i mean that is already bad enough, but they just continue to annoy me. like, we put insurance on my boyfriends line, but they mistakenly put it on my line instead.. and i had to spend 45 minutes on hold with someone to fix it. or we almost didnt get our first warranty exchange cause every CSR that we talked to told us something different and it took like 2 weeks for us to get a phone that shouldve been delivered in 3 business days. omg, its just frustrating. i really love their customer service, every time i talk to someone on the phone they're really pleasant to talk to and super nice, but i hate the fucken company. im just so agitated right now.

i love my sidekick, but i think im about ready to part with it... i just need to find a way out of my contract. i refuse to pay a early termination fee! lol

goodbye tmobile, hello at&t!

BOYFRIENDS BIRTHDAY! (super long, picture heavy)

we celebrated a little early, his birthday is actually on tuesday, but he has midterms and stuff all week so i didnt want to interrupt studying time. lol he gets all serious and tunes the world out when he studies, so boring! lol i study with the tv on, while i surf blogger and talk on the phone. haha im so unproductive :(

my face before dinner:


my face after dinner:face:
- MUFE foundation in #123, i think this is definitely my summer color, cause i wore it today and noticed that since my tan is fading the color might be too dark. ahhhh *dilemma* i guess we gotta go back to Chanel for the winter :)
- Lancome Ageless Mineral loose powder in natural beige
- Fl!rt blush in too dolly

eyes:
- MAC painterly paint pot (all over eyelid)
- MAC blackground paint pot (in crease)
- MAC print (in crease)
- MAC starts & rockets (on lid)
- Cover Girl champagne (inner lid & inner corner)
- Ulta automatic liner in black
- Revlon falsies (thanks ying!)

lips:
- Victoria Secret soothing lip balm (my faaaave!)
- Fl!rt lipstick in pink dream
- MAC lipglass in flourabundance




heres what i wore:

omg i did not realize my mirror was so fricken dirty, haha sorry!

-dress: BEBE
- shoes: Steve Maddens



but, the it started to rain outside, and its been sorta chilly here so i decided to dress warmer lol. i have the worst tolerance for the cold, and i live in alaska; its a horrible combination. so, i ended up wearing this.



- pants: Forever 21, they're actually like "work" pants, but made out of this thick legging material.. so they look like leggings, but are totally thicker and warm. they have pockets, and a zipper, but the dress hid them :)

- cardigan: 5|48 (from Saks) i looooove long cardigans :)

this entire outfit made me realize how much bigger i have gotten with the pregnancy and that im still getting bigger. lol i bought this dress last october but it didnt fit me. it literally would slide right off, so tonight was actually my first time wearing it. it fit wonderfully, i even found it to be a bit snug. i bought the pants a month ago and they didnt fit either; i put them on today and they fit perfectly. im glad i can finally put these items to use, but its totally depressing at the same time.

to make things worse when we got home and i tried to take the dress off i couldnt! i couldnt slip it down or up over my head. my boyfriend kept telling me he would have to cut me out of it.. i almost died... until i realized that he didnt pull the zipper down all the way. thats why i couldnt get out of the dress.. haha it was seriously a heart breaking moment for me!

i know im not fat, and im not trying to fish for any compliments or shit like that, but with anyone and any time their body is making such dramatic changes in such a small frame of time theres just a lot of getting use to needed. its really hard to wake up and notice yourself a little bigger each day, or that your clothes dont fit anymore. especially with my hormones raging, its a roller coaster ride. lol but i do love looking down and seeing my baby bump. it always makes my heart melt to think that in 4 more months my lil man will be here and he's going to be amazing!

lol this is what i see everyday when i look down, my bump & i love it

but, anyways! we went out to dinner and it was really nice, we had a great time.
here are some photos & restaurant review. enjoy:)

Simon & Seaforts
www.r-u-i.com
420 L St
Anchorage, AK 99501-5901
(907) 274-3502

the menus is a bit pricey, not an arm and a leg pricey, but its definitely worth the money. i was a little disappointed that although we had made 8:30pm reservations we actually had to sit and wait like 15 minutes to get a table. other than that the rest of the night went smoothly :)

what we ordered (sorry there arent a whole lotta food porn pictures. i promise next time we are there i will take some!):

- calamari with plum sauce (appetizer) $12.00
this was ok, it was lightly breaded, deep fried calamari and red peppers with a five spice seasoning. it had a small kick to it, but not "spicy" in my book. lol boyfriend thought it was a lil spicy though. it was served with a plum sauce, which i could do without.. i dont really like sweet dipping sauces, i would prefer an aeoli sauce any day. the calamari sat on top of a green salad. there was like sprouts, arugula, spinach.. this i could do without either, i dont like any of that shit. hahaha

- house salad with ranch dressing (appetizer) $6.50
salad was super yummy. had just enough ranch to nicely coat all the veggies. they made the salad with romain lettuce ( i prefer iceburg). the croutons were super good too! and the red onions and tomatoes were chopped really small, which made them easier to eat. everything was topped with grated parmesan.

- sweet potatoe fries (side) $6.00
soooooooo good. it came with this weird bbq sauce and mustard sauce sides, which boyfriend and i skipped on and asked for ranch instead, lol. but i love sweet potatoe fries, you seriously cannot go wrong :)

- whiskey pepper cracked steak $33.00 (my dinner)


2 medallions of steak served on top of mashed red potatoes, served with a side of battered and deep fried onion strings and mixed veggies (zucchini, onions) with a jack daniels peppercorn sauce. this was on their daily specials menu, so i dont know if its available all the time, but ommmmg sooooooooooo seriously delicious! i can never eat too much steak at dinner and this was a perfect portion size for me. the veggies and the onion strings were good, but like seriously.. if a restaurant fucked that up.. then i would have to kill the chef myself. haha totally loved it!

- center cut new york strip $39.00 (boyfriends dinner)


12oz new york strip served with au ju, mashed red potatoes and battered deep fried onion strings. this steak was seriously HUGE. like i think an 8 oz steak is already too much, but 12 oz .. it just looks like a beast to me. lol but the boyfriend really enjoyed his meal :)

- strawberry lemonade $4.00 (bottom less)
we each got one, and they were really good. some places just cant do a strawberry lemonade justice. haha but i was looking at the drinks menu and was totally wishing i could get a pomegranate cosmo, or a freaking mojito! ahhhhhhh sometimes pregnancy makes me so sad. haha

also, their water was really good. haha i am completely anal when it comes to drinking water at a restaurant, most of the time the water just tastes like shit. i rarely ever drink water in any public place, haha im like scared shitless of public water fountains. my boyfriend swears that all water tastes the same, and i know for a fucken fact that they dont! some places just have better water than others, and i make sure to make mental notes of where not to drink water. lol

- key lime pie $0.00 (on the house since it was my boyfriends birthday)

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good


muahhaha so cute! i love him

our total came to $103.50, which is like double what we would normally spend for dinner out, but it was so freaking worth it. this was our first time to Simon & Seaforts, but definitely not our last. its located downtown and has the greatest views on Resolution Bay. definitely a great place to dine at, if you are ever in Anchorage please give this place a try! the service there is sensational. our server seriously on his game. he refilled our water every time they reached half full. the food came out fast and it was prepared perfectly. the only down side is that like any downtown restaurant in anchorage its always busy on the weekends, so keep that in mind. even with a reservation expect to wait around 15 - 20 minutes for your table, but they do validate parking *thumbs up*.

i was definitely a happy camper tonight

also, best part about eating here is that you can buy gift cards for it at the Costco's in anchorage (thats what we did, haha we're on a budget!) but we got two $50.00 gift cards for $79.99 at Costco, yay for discounts! i fucking love costco dude, they have the best shit there. we also buy our movie tickets there. definitely check out costco for great savings :D our local costco also sells handbags: burberry, coach, and prada are what i have seen before. they currently have Seven For All Mankind jeans on there (the ones with the A pockets) for $99.99.

MMMMMM ;]

i love being pregnant, ah well its really a love/hate relationship. lol some days i look in the mirror and im just like, AHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK!? :( haha but i seriously dont think anything is cuter than a baby bump.

hahaha can you see how hairy my arms are, i seriously can knit myself a sweater. holy shit *shamed*

but the best part of being pregnant is the boobies! i finally have the boobies i have been dreaming of paying for. haha dont judge me! yes, i want breast implants, not sure if i will ever get them, but i long for them. yes, i wanna be fake and i will fucking love it. so suuuuuuck it!



i dont mean to whore myself out via blogger, but i gotta enjoy them while i can. i have always wondered what breast implants feel like. i dont really know anyone who has them, so can anyone tell me!? i wonder about how different they feel from natural breast, i know it will be different.. but how much different? im so curious!

i mean i know its not for everyone and i know plenty of people who are against them.. what do you think of them? do you have them, and if not, would you ever get them?

honestly, i never thought i would want them and i dont want them cause i need them to make me feel better about myself, or cause my boyfriend wants me to have bigger boobs haha. i want them cause i would just like them bigger. im normally a 30A (pre-pregnancy) im like a 30B right now 5 months pregnant.. and theyre just getting bigger. i dont want them to be huge.. lol but i like them where they are. to me getting bigger boobs is like getting a hair cut or dying my hair, just more expensive and requires healing time, hahaha . its just something i would do cause i want to. i could care less what anyone else thought!

what are your thoughts about fake breast and the people who want/have them?