i know my birthday is almost a whole life time away, august just seems so out of reach right now, but its one thing to look forward to and it makes me happy to think about it.
though my plans are not really to get completely shit faced, as many would assume. i just want it to be fun & special. i dont think i've ever had a "good" birthday. most birthdays are spent in tears or spent disappointed. last year was good, but it left me with a very disappointing outcome. my life has changed so much in the past year and i want this year to be good, like really fucking good! originally i had planned to go to NYC with my fam bamz <3 i love my brothers & i always have a good time with them, but now that everyones coming to alaska in may i dont think everyone can afford to do another big trip in august. f the world! but yit-ze & i have our hearts set on going to NYC. i've wanted this for 2 years now, i've been really looking forward to this and i will be devastated if it doesnt happen.
if all else fails i know i can always find something 'round my way to entertain myself for my birthday, but it will have to be something super fucking spectacular. besides 80% of my friends in anchorage arent even 21 yet, lmfao. including my lover, damned these babies! we will see what happens, *crossing my fingers* im hoping for the best!